I don’t wanna bore everyone with things that are wrong with me. It’ll eventually end but why not be positive sometimes? I’ll write about things that I have been trying to get back into. Like this: playing my clarinet.
I don’t do much (during the week at least), so, I try to do stuff that will help in my recovery, like my exercises. It passes time and it’s better than sitting at home doing nothing while everyone is at work. I miss working so much it isn’t even funny. It is SO much better than sitting at home. Trust me.
I was been thinking about things that I could do to keep myself busy at home, instead of watching TV all day. The idea I got was picking back up my clarinet. I played this thing since 4th grade (-_-). I played it throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school. I sorta kept up with it in college. Sorta. Anyways, I lost touch with it.
Side note: Many people will disagree with me and I HATE TALKING about this but I have to say it as this is the real reason I wanted to pick the clarinet back up. I played it since elementary school and since this accident I have gained weight. I am human, it happens, and telling me I’m not isn’t helping. So, don’t bother. Anyways, one thing I’ve noticed about myself is that the muscle in my abdomen, for lack of a better word, looser than it used to be. I did have muscle in my abdomen because of playing the clarinet. I haven’t been playing it for some time now and this is one of the reasons, I think, I lost muscle there. Someone that has played it, will know how much of the playing comes from the abdomen/stomach. This is one of the things I was taught in elementary school by my band teacher. He told us that our stomach had to be flat when playing. All of those elements, I believe, made a difference in the way I held my body. Since I stopped playing, I lost that. That is the MAIN reason I wanted to play it again.
I also don’t want to get old and wish I kept doing things that I enjoyed. I don’t want to become 65 years old and wish I still played the damn thing. I already regret it and now I get the chance to rekindle the relationship I had with it. By no means was I a superb clarinet player. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, I was 3rd clarinet in band at school. I was 1st clarinet ins 4th grade. I dropped down to 3rd because I wouldn’t practice at home to get any better, (-_-)
Wanting my belly to look the way it used to and also not wanting to be bored at home I decided I’ll pick up the thing again. I don’t wanna to go pro any time soon but I wanted to get back into it. What better time than now? With the help from the Stony brook University’s Turkish Club and birthday money I was able to purchase a clarinet. I got a used Yamaha clarinet for 700 bucks. Woof (-__-) Imagine if I got a new one? Forget it. I would post a picture of the one I got but I don’t know where my camera is so this will do:
(thank goodness for dem internetz)
I have it. Now what?
I remember how to play it: what I have to do with my fingers, how to hold the instrument, and how to read the music. It is harder than learning it the first time. I have to relearn everything: how to breathe playing the notes and how move my fingers the right way. My left arm is the weakest link at the moment and I cannot play the notes or move my fingers fast the way I should. It is annoying to say the least. I don’t know to breathe playing the damn thing. I lose my breathe really fast and I have no control over my spit. lol It is the little things that I don’t have control over anymore and need to get back.
It’s the little things that are the problem in everything I do. The moments that used no effort before to complete are now my downfalls. That’s what makes recovery hard at times, the easy stuff. I never had to think about them before like I do now when I try to complete an action.
I play my clarinet whenever I remember. I can’t hide the clarinet, otherwise, I forget it even exists. I have to have the case in sight to remember to its there.