I’ve heard of people having brain damage but what no one thinks about is what that person has to do to recover or what they have to recover from. I have heard of people experiencing this but never did I sit down and think about what it meant. I just assumed that they eventually recovered and things were normal. It wasn’t anything I thought twice about. I never gave it much thought. This shit is fucking hard.
Your whole world is changed drastically without your clearance. There is nothing more than that. There are, of course, those that do experience brain damage on a smaller scale and doesn’t change much of their lives but we forget about the people who’s lives were drastically changed. I was thinking about this recently and may overall be the same person but things have changed. All my goals, all of my plans that I had for myself are done… for now. I have to alter everything about my life. It is not easy. Nobody asked me if I wanted to change- I was forced into it. I have to continue forward and make alterations in my life to make something of myself. People have a choice is everything they do or don’t do. I do not. I have to make these changes because nothing is the same.
Nobody likes change. People don’t react well to change. I am forced to change, whether I like it or want it. I am the same person but there are many differences. The way I think now and the things I feel now are so not even close to what it used to be. I guess it’s something that will naturally happen… My brain is not functioning the same way it used to and I see things a bit differently than before. People do or don’t mean the same as they did before. It’s interesting to me how I have become a genuine cold hard bitch with a lot of things that I thought I was before but I wasn’t even close. My feelings for a lot has become more drastic. I either feel with everything (more than I did before) or I don’t care at all for things I did before. It is weird.
I dunno how much sense that makes but please, keep in mind when reading my blog that I do not have the access to the vocabulary to explain myself well. So bare with me. 🙂 If I do not make sense to you, feel free to ask away- Here’s looking to you Louis.