I have been slacking with my posts. It’s a good thing that I have other things to keep myself busy with but I am forgetting the things I started, like this and my art.
I just need to find the balance. I don’t know know to manage all these things at once. I was talking to Tom and one of the things I realized is that everyone thinks I can handle a lot more than I really am able to handle. Don’t get me wrong, in most situations, I do sell myself short. It’s because of that everyone thinks I can do much more than I can. I do not mind it. I welcome it and most times I do need that ‘push’ but other times, well, I don’t always need that push. It simply is what it is and the brain stuff? Well, I don’t have it all together and it is hard for everyone to get because you can’t see it.
I have a lot of wrong with me and it does no one any good by pretending that it isn’t there. I need to find the balance of all the different things (events, gatherings, etc) going on in my life, the goals I have for myself, and habits I want to keep up with (playing my clarinet, making art). All that stuff- I want to do and I get down on myself that I didn’t make it happen.
I am struggling with myself really hardcore, guys. I have 923787724098 things that I want to happen. Things I want control of that I currently don’t have control over.
This post got heavy real quick…
This shit is hard. Real hard. Especially, feelings. Ugh. I hate it. I wish my whole body was just broken but not my brain. Leave that shit alone… It is not easy to deal with that. The walking? That was/is the easy stuff.