Feelings

Words

Before the accident, it was a habit not to take everyone’s spoken word seriously. I wouldn’t hold people on what they say. I knew that words are just that…words. They don’t hold much worth with people you just met or aren’t close with. But now? The spoken word is all I have and I don’t know what to take seriously and what not to.

I am not sure of anything anymore. I forget to tell myself that what someone is saying may not have any weight. That person is probably just saying whatever, for the moment. I am being reminded of this all the time but I can’t help but trust people.

Maybe that is my problem, trusting people. That is what it comes down to in the end, I have become too trusting. I’ve always seen people as ‘good’ until they did something to me that didn’t warrant that. I dunno why I take what everyone says to heart… I know better.

Actually, I know. I take what people say seriously because that’s all I’ve got. Everything I know about people, friends, and family, went out the window. I have to relearn myself and the world around me, as well. I have to trust myself in order to lower my standards for everyone else. It’s a process…

I am doing all this learning and it sucks. I know all of this. Why can’t I put it into practice?

Oh! Because it isn’t a habit anymore. I have to let my brain relearn how to put things that I know into practice.

I got side tracked… SOoo, people don’t believe what they’re saying themselves. They don’t put worth in their words for themselves and then!! They are the ones that get upset when someone holds what they said against them. (-_-)

I don’t call everyone my ‘friend.’ Anyone that knows me should have picked up on that. I don’t call someone I just met a ‘friend,” they become ‘someone I know.’ As Gotye said. ‘Now, you’re just somebody that I used to know…” lol I crack myself up.

Jenn, my good friend, I’ve known her since 7th grade. That’s a pretty long time. She obviously is my best friend but I didn’t used those words too much. Not casually. Those words are heavy. ‘Best Friend’ is a big deal. It means that person is everything. Don’t get me wrong, Jenn is. It took some time for me to use that word for someone that, clearly, deserved it. If I had some trouble with ‘best friend,’ don’t you think ‘friend’ might hold some weight in my life? I’d say so… If an individual calls me their ‘friend,’ well, it means something to me.

See, that’s where I forget that everyone doesn’t hold the same weight to that word as I do. Ugh, this is frustrating. I have to remind myself of 9734834 things, at all times, otherwise, I get stuck.

If you are going to tell someone something think about it, it may mean something else to the person you are talking to. Your intention may not come across to the person you are talking to. They only have your words and that is what they are going off of, especially, if you don’t know the individual.

Choose your words carefully.

If you don’t know the person you are talking to well enough, things may go in a direction you aren’t ready for. If a word runs the risk of being held in another way than the way you intend it, I wouldn’t use it.

Don’t take the short cut.

Sometimes, it’s better to take the time to explain yourself without short cuts. You won’t run the risk of being misunderstood. This is not the time to be lazy… especially, if feelings are involved.

I bring this up because someone asked me a while ago, why I keep bringing up that he wanted Nese and I to stay friends. He said he wanted us in their life. For me, if I said that to someone, it means that individual means something to me. I wouldn’t have said it but that’s just me. If my sister and I didn’t mean anything then why say it? I’m getting side tracked again…

But does that mean you are responsible if someone else misunderstands you and gets hurt? Most would say ‘no.’ I am included in that group but shouldn’t you be more aware of what you are saying so that doesn’t happen? I dunno. When you are talking you should have in mind that misunderstanding could/will happen…so be ready…but the person listening should, also, remember that the other person doesn’t hold the same meanings for words as they do. Both parties should keep those things in mind. I think…You may disagree.

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