Standards

I have to work on myself AND work on relationships with friends and family. It is SOO hard to balance everything. Its so frustrating too.

Do I only work on myself? What do I do? How do I do this? How do I make everything work?

I wanna help and make it easier for everyone around me but it’s hard when you’re working on yourself. This is not a new thing only for me but for everyone around me too.

I expect everyone to keep their part, up to date, bc it’s hard to balance both. I can’t maintain myself and help others. I would LOVE to be able to but I can’t be my therapist self without helping myself out first.

I’ll get to you later.

The time is right for me. Not you. Sorry. Take a number. Hope you don’t have other plans bc you’ll be here for a while. I know this is selfish. Immensely selfish but when is the right time to be? Isn’t this the time?

Anyway, my sister has been telling me to lower my standards for every one. She said I expect too much from them (family). I think the problem lies with me having high standards for myself and holding others to that same standards.

If I don’t have these high standards, how will I get better or be better than I was or keep going in general? How am I supposed to keep going forward if no one around me is striving for the same thing? I need help and guidance.

Like a child, I need people around me doing the the thing that is expected of me. Where do I get my confidence or strength from? I need the high standards to strive for something. I need to want more from this accident. I don’t want to be someone who ‘just got better.’ I am, naturally, going to get better. As long as I’m alive, I will get better. Slowly. But I want more to come out of this. I need to strive for more. More has to come out of this accident. I expect, from all the people close to me, nothing more than I expect from myself. If I can grow and change from this, you can too. So, yes, I will have high standards and expect patience from my loved ones. It’s hard, I know, but I need to be shown it is possible.

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