clear the air, Feelings, Update

Here it goes

I don’t know if I am repeating myself or not, I apologize in advance, but I am tried of being told what to do when it comes to my recovery and how I should go about it. I am really tired of it.

I don’t appreciate it. There is a fine line between a friendly suggestion and being told something as if it was a sure thing. I hope I am making some sense. I am okay with this scenario: “Hey, Bahar.  Give this exercise a try, maybe it’ll help.”

This scenario, however, does not: “Hey Bahar. You should do this. This is better than that.”

(-_-)

Are you sure about that?

I have never been the person to do something simply because she is told she has to. I mean if you have the PhD or MD, sure, you’ll have a say that will be considered. Otherwise, please don’t tell me I have to do my recovery a certain way as if that is the truth.

I mean this is just my frustration speaking. I know friends and family have good intentions but I don’t like being told that this is how I should proceed.

I’ll take suggestions. I’ll take it.

Whenever I write something like this, about something that bothers me, I feel like I don’t make sense. I also feel ungrateful, and selfish. Whatever is going on with me…whatever this is, I don’t know what it is. I know everyone means well but I can’t keep reminding myself that so and so means well. I shouldn’t have to…If you mean well, maybe you should tell me you mean well in another way… I clearly don’t get it.

My psychologist isn’t working at the clinic I’ve been going to, so, I haven’t been seeing someone for two weeks now. Whenever I had an issue during the week before I saw my therapist I would write it down so I knew what I wanted to tell her. For two weeks I haven’t done that and I am miserable. I am miserable that I haven’t had an outlet… The clinic I have been going to gave me another therapist to see and I see him/her on Thursdays. I start with this new person next week.

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