I’ve gotten into arguments or fights with my mother, my sister, and friends. What happened, happened. I don’t feel remorse for what I said or did then. The people I got into a fight with, I don’t feel bad when I look back. It happened and I don’t feel like I did anything wrong.
That’s not who I was before my accident. I felt things. Too many…
I do apologize. I have apologized. I did so because I know I say things that are uncalled for and don’t realize how it might make the other person feel. I’ve stopped that recently because I don’t receive apologies in return. Whatever. I won’t either.
There is one person who does apologize and that is my sister.
…but the past few fights with my mother and sister, something has been happening. I feel guilty. I still don’t remember exactly what was said but I feel remorse.
I thought I was feeling before but I wasn’t. I was apologizing because I didn’t know. I think I was compensating for my lack of remorse by apologizing without realizing it. Or maybe that is a form of feeling guilty or maybe I’m just a good person…lol I dunno.
I had a fight with my sister on Monday night. I felt shitty about it the next day. I feel guilty for fighting.
The next day I didn’t want to function. This happened before. I wanna stay in bed. I don’t want to go anywhere or talk to anyone. I simply don’t want to do anything. I want to be alone. I don’t know what that means just yet but I might have an idea but am refusing to acknowledge it for the time being…
This is new and I don’t know what to do with it. I didn’t know that my emotions were really affected like this. Well, I kinda knew but I didn’t think it was going this far. This explains why I haven’t been able to cry watching movies during scenes I was known to cry at…I was a crier. I don’t know how I feel about all of this crap. Everything is so confusing!!!
I kinda liked the new emotionless person. (-_-)