I have people in my life telling me that I’m the same person I was before the accident. My best friend told me that I am different but I am the same too.
I appreciated that response. It was honest and it wasn’t a response that was trying to make me feel better. It was a response that confirmed what I already knew about myself. It’s nice when that happens.
Confirmation isn’t a bad thing. I don’t feel worse about myself. I don’t want to commit suicide because you told me the truth of how I am now and how it used to be. It isn’t a bad thing. If I am different there is nothing wrong with that. Things in my life have changed. That is reality. I want to be told what I know is true or if it isn’t, old or new. Sometimes, I get confused and need help getting it all straightened out in my head.
I do, however, want to be acknowledged. I want my feelings and thoughts to be acknowledged. I want to be given the chance to have the emotion or whatever it is to myself. I want the person in front of me to give me the right away to have those emotions. I don’t want to be told I’m wrong. That is what I want in an acknowledgement. I’m having the reaction because of something you said. Let me have it and go from there.
I want to be heard. I want every emotion and thought to be mine. I don’t want to be told it’s wrong. I want those to be respected. I think majority of the time, I want confirmation when I’m unsure of myself. When I question the past with the present. I get like that. Not often but it happens on occasion.
Most arguments happen because one person is telling the other they’re wrong. Their feelings aren’t wrong. They just misunderstood you. Either way, no one is wrong when it comes to their feelings. That isn’t fair. Understand first, then explain yourself better but don’t tell them they’re wrong. They have those emotions for a reason.
I really don’t appreciate when I am told my feelings are wrong for being what they are. Acknowledge my emotions/feelings/reactions. Tell me you’re sorry and then explain what you tried to say… we’ll go from there.
Oh! and don’t apologize and follow it with “but.” Say you’re sorry for doing “blah, blah” and follow it with what you tried to explain. No “but.” That doesn’t mean you’re sorry.
I really hope you guys do get what my rambles are saying. I do try to make sense. It works in my head, dunno if it works typed out or written out.