Update

Nothing…

With Pokémon Go, nothing has been happening in my life. Lol yes, technically things are happening but nothing that’s causing emotional disasters. 

Since my medication was lowered, I can confidently say that I have been able to let things go and keep myself from getting into an argument.  I am very proud of myself. 😁

I am more emotional these days. Whenever I feel a lot, good or bad, I cry because I can’t handle the emotions…it’s overwhelming and I don’t know what to do. So the only response I have involves crying. Happy things make me cry, sad things make me cry, pure joy makes me cry…what doesn’t make me cry?

There are a lot of good things that have been happening. All of them may be little and insignificant for most but for me this is a great thing. I like feeling things. I like going to the theater and crying because something sad happened. I like genuinely laughing when something is funny. I like enjoying my day and the movie I’m watching. 

I’m almost back, guys. Not there yet but I’m on my way…

My medication does, however, need to be increased, I think. I believe I had not one but two focal seizures last week…one on Friday night and then something happened on Monday. I naturally looked online and based on what I was feeling, the internetz said I was experiencing an aura. I need to see my doctor but he is on vacation until August. I was told there should be a doctor on call while my doctor is out that I can talk to. Tomorrow I’ll be doing that…

I’ll keep you posted! 

Update

What a week!

Nothing interesting happened this week worth noting but since Pokemon Go came out, I haven’t done anything else. I mean, I may have done other things but this has been the topic of every conversation.

I have gone out of the apartment every day. If not everyday, every other day. There has been a lot of walking involved. So much walking that when I woke up today, I consciously decided no to walking.

It was easy to say, last night, that I would be up for another adventure but when I woke up, it was another story.

One would say that I am out of shape and that’s why I’m so tired. I can’t say that isn’t one of the reasons. I want to say that I’m not an average human anymore. It’s going to take years for me to catch up to you.

I’m still healing, guys. My brain isn’t taking a break from the healing any time soon. I mean if it did, I’d be under ground. Since I’m not there, I am not normal like everyone else. This is what my normal looks like now. My body and brain are constantly working to get better. That gets the rest of my working self tired much quicker than it should. I need naps. I need to sleep longer. I can’t keep moving. I can do it for so long. I can push myself. I can go as long as I put my mind to but I will crash at some point.

Yes, sometimes I need to do it. Once in a while I can do it but not everyday. I need to rest. I need to slow down. I look absolutely fine like nothing is wrong but there is a lot of little things you don’t see.

I need to sleep more because of the seizures I have. That medication I am on is taking care of that. You don’t know that because I don’t have seizures and I don’t wear my medication on my neck. It’s a dark cloud that is always going to be there though. Your alcohol consumption isn’t something I can keep up with. There will be times that I will overdo it a bit but it isn’t all the time. Maybe at a friend’s wedding 🙂 Otherwise, if I’m having a drink, let me have it at my own pace. I need to eat because I’m not sure when I last ate. I have to go back to one cup of coffee a day but earlier preferably before 3pm. I can’t keep up with everyone else. I’m not built like that anymore.

I can’t give my brain a reason to have a seizure. I can’t do it.

The reason this is on my mind it’s because Friday night, I think I had one at the restaurant. Rest assured guys, I did call my doctor but he’s out until August. With that, I have to do everything I can to not give my brain to do that again to me. The goal for the rest of the month is to take care of myself better. I can’t push myself to do something because I want to. I know better. I know what I shouldn’t be doing.

I need to learn to balance my worlds. That is going to take some time. I don’t know how to go about it…

 

 

Trial and Error it is!

 

Update

Food

Food tastes so good. When I’m sitting for whatever meal, it tastes not just ‘good’ actually, it tastes amazing. I may have wrote about this before but I may be explaining it a bit better this time…

One of the side effects of this accident is that I don’t have this hunger thing down. Is taste one of the 5 senses? I think it may be. That is amplified by like 1,000. Everything tastes SO good. I can’t get enough of it down my gullet.

One of the things I have to be aware of is that I don’t know when to stop. I don’t feel the feeling of hunger or being full after eating. That doesn’t exist. I eat until I am in pain. My side hurts when I eat too much. The side where your stomach lies, hurts. It isn’t a normal pain either. It feels like I have rocks in it and it might burst. It isn’t pleasant.

I have to be conscious about how much I eat. I have to be aware. Sometimes, I ignore it and keep at it. Someone else that knows this about me tells me to stop and they’re right. I should at that point.

It’s either one extreme or the other. Either I over eat or I don’t eat at all. Because of this not feeling hungry it ends up with me not eating fast enough (my food gets cold because I’m doing something else like talking) or not eating at all (I’m busy with something else that food isn’t on my mind). I have to be conscious about this too. I have to pay attention to the time and think about what I did until that time. I do forget I had breakfast earlier that day and it’s then I get worried that I went too long without food. I can go all day without eating. It takes about to 24 hours for me to feel hungry (I don’t know how long actually, it’s a long ass time) and that usually doesn’t happen because I try not to let it get there.

I do get upset when the person I’m with doesn’t take me having to eat seriously. I tell myself that they aren’t aware of what is going on.

I am not normal. There are a lot of little things that go unnoticed because you aren’t living it. Unfortunately, never thought I would say this, I look normal and it is a problem. I am treated like everyone else, which is great but doesn’t help me. There is a lot that goes on that you aren’t aware of that isn’t normal. Telling me I am doesn’t help me. It isn’t reality and can do a lot of damage. That’s for another session…

Update

Happy 4th of July, Folks!

This weekend was a sweet one for many, I’m sure! Most have off for Monday which always is great if you have the weekend off… But alas, there are many that won’t have that luxury. I do have that luxury, I just live it almost everyday so it’s not a big deal for me.

I hope, regardless of your work situation, you have a great weekend! It is a great holiday in our great nation! Enjoy it! Be safe…

I was fortunate to spend the weekend with Maryann. She is our long time friend. She is an unofficial aunt. So, I had a nice weekend and I am beyond tired. I’m still feeling it from last week.

Last Friday, I had to wake up early. I was up and functioning. Later, I went with my sister and her friends to the movies. I was non stop since 6am. I didn’t get my sleep all of the weekend like I should have. Now, I am still feeling the burn.

Oh! I would like to use this opportunity to let you know that my sister and I opened our Etsy shop.

Our shop is called Kaya Creationss. We have an extra ‘s.’ Right now, we have our wine glasses and mixed drink glasses up. Slowly we will get other items up. We have some ramekins we have painted that will go up the next few weeks.

We have a sale going on at the moment but ends Monday, July 18th! There is a new coupon code (because I messed the first code up). The 50% discount code has to be put in at checkout! You have to make a minimum purchase of $25 for the discount to work. Again, the discount doesn’t automatically apply, you have to manually enter the code! The code is: JULY4

I extended it another week because I messed up the discount and it’s code, so here we go! Follow us on Instagram! New items will be added to our shop every week! Be sure to check it out!

July 5th is the end of the Ramadan and the start of Eid Al-Fitr or Ramazan Bayram in Turkish. The celebration is about 3-4 days, depending on your traditions and where you’re from. There are cultures that celebrate it for a couple of weeks! Either way, despite what has been going on in the world, wish your Muslim neighbor a good holiday! Eid Mubarak is what you would say, or anything will be appreciated. It’s nice to be remembered even if you don’t know the exact words or can’t pronounce it. It’s the thought that counts, right?

Well…

Happy 4th of July!

Eid Mubarak!

Bayramin mubarek olsun!