Nothing interesting happened this week worth noting but since Pokemon Go came out, I haven’t done anything else. I mean, I may have done other things but this has been the topic of every conversation.
I have gone out of the apartment every day. If not everyday, every other day. There has been a lot of walking involved. So much walking that when I woke up today, I consciously decided no to walking.
It was easy to say, last night, that I would be up for another adventure but when I woke up, it was another story.
One would say that I am out of shape and that’s why I’m so tired. I can’t say that isn’t one of the reasons. I want to say that I’m not an average human anymore. It’s going to take years for me to catch up to you.
I’m still healing, guys. My brain isn’t taking a break from the healing any time soon. I mean if it did, I’d be under ground. Since I’m not there, I am not normal like everyone else. This is what my normal looks like now. My body and brain are constantly working to get better. That gets the rest of my working self tired much quicker than it should. I need naps. I need to sleep longer. I can’t keep moving. I can do it for so long. I can push myself. I can go as long as I put my mind to but I will crash at some point.
Yes, sometimes I need to do it. Once in a while I can do it but not everyday. I need to rest. I need to slow down. I look absolutely fine like nothing is wrong but there is a lot of little things you don’t see.
I need to sleep more because of the seizures I have. That medication I am on is taking care of that. You don’t know that because I don’t have seizures and I don’t wear my medication on my neck. It’s a dark cloud that is always going to be there though. Your alcohol consumption isn’t something I can keep up with. There will be times that I will overdo it a bit but it isn’t all the time. Maybe at a friend’s wedding 🙂 Otherwise, if I’m having a drink, let me have it at my own pace. I need to eat because I’m not sure when I last ate. I have to go back to one cup of coffee a day but earlier preferably before 3pm. I can’t keep up with everyone else. I’m not built like that anymore.
I can’t give my brain a reason to have a seizure. I can’t do it.
The reason this is on my mind it’s because Friday night, I think I had one at the restaurant. Rest assured guys, I did call my doctor but he’s out until August. With that, I have to do everything I can to not give my brain to do that again to me. The goal for the rest of the month is to take care of myself better. I can’t push myself to do something because I want to. I know better. I know what I shouldn’t be doing.
I need to learn to balance my worlds. That is going to take some time. I don’t know how to go about it…
Trial and Error it is!