Today, Update

In this moment

Eid Mubarak to everyone celebrating today! Bayraminiz mubarek olsun!! 😘😁Have a splendid day!  

Here we go talking about driving, feelings, and driving…again. It bothers me from time to time. I have my highs and lows regarding driving and other people. 

I miss driving. I have many moments where I wish so badly to have my car. I miss the freedom that comes with driving. I miss driving with the windows down. I miss the music blasting. I miss being alone and just driving for no reason. I miss calling Hazar and Onur to go where ever when no one else was available. I miss being the cool cousin. I miss not having to rely on others to get me places. I miss having people hang out with me because they want to; not making me feel like a burden. I miss planning things. I miss going wherever I wanted when I wanted. 

Knowing you can do whatever you want when you want it, allows you not to feel that you’ve missed something or have to do said thing. 

Everyone has choices. Everyone can do whatever they want, as well as I…but I have to wait for others. I long for the car rides I used to go on. 

It isn’t about physically going out, driving or going out to eat all the time; it’s about knowing you can, when you want. I guess you can say I miss having that option. 

Friends and family don’t understand why I jump to whatever it is they suggest without thinking twice. I look for those moments because I don’t get them often. I don’t get moments where you want to do something. 

I wish I could drive again and let me stop you. I don’t want to hear for the 737283 time that I can. That I can do whatever I put my mind to, blah, blah, blah. There is nothing more frustrating than someone telling me I can do something that I truest can’t. 

I can’t drive myself alone or with others in the car. Do you trust me to drive you around? Will you give me your car to practice in? I look like I can right? There is nothing more irritating…well, actually not being able to do it may be worse. Lol

clear the air, Today, Update

Question

I wear glasses. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t have traditional lenses. I have prisms. My eyewear is to bring the two images I see closer together. It isn’t perfect because the one image is crooked. 

My brain, for whatever reason, doesn’t merge what I see together. I have learned to ignore one image and the glasses bring what I see close enough that it’s easy to ignore. 

Not every eye doctor or eye place does prisms as Dr. Fisher does. She deals with more than just bad eye vision. When I went to my last appointment, I was told that I was near sighted but it wasn’t bad enough that I needed new lenses. 

Ok so, I have trouble reading things from a certain distance and size. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t bother trying to read, I ask. When I went to the appointment, I told her about this. She told me that I don’t have to have my lenses changed but if I wanted it; it’ll get done. 

I had them changed and now it’s taking some getting used to. I feel nauseous at times. It’s weird. 

Now, my question or rather questions for those that wear glasses, are: 

  1. Is it normal to feel nauseous?
  2. If so, does it go away? 
  3. There are times that I have to refocus my eyes when looking at something close (that sometimes doesn’t go away even after I do that) Is that normal? 
  4. How do I know if it helps or doesn’t help?

I feel that these might have basic and obvious answers but I naturally doubt myself. Feel free to let me know if what I’m experiencing normal. lol I’d appreciate it. 

Update

Been busy

I’ve been slowly getting busier with my stuff. It feels good. 

Dad’s been home since his accident. So, he’s home keeping himself busy with cooking and cleaning as much as he can. He’s also fasting during Ramadan so keeping busy passes time quicker than usual. While he’s been doing his own thing I’ve been doing my own…slowly. I like it. 

I’m working my way thru it all. Adding something new to do. I don’t want to freak myself out. I’ve been working on some art throughout the week. So far only one piece has been on the table. I’m being a perfectionist. It’s taking me forever to do one Mickey Mouse. 

It’s a Mickey Mouse picture that I had drawn in middle school. It was an Andy Warhol themed project. I did this in 7th grade (My Mickey Mouse obsession goes back to my toddler years). Every Mickey was a different color with different art material used. Right now I’m doing an acrillic one in his traditional color scheme, red, black and white. It’s not bad. When I’m done with them I’ll be putting them up for sale on Etsy. 

I’m debating whether or not I should frame them or not. I probably will. I have to commit. One commitment at a time. Can’t overwhelm myself. 

Jenn also suggested that I make wedding themed wine glasses. Which doesn’t sound like a bad idea. I have wine glasses that I haven’t done anything with yet. This week is Mickey, wedding themed glasses, and getting my glasses. 

I have yet to pick up my glasses from the eye doctor. It’s been like a month. It doesn’t help that it’s like 45 mins to an hour away. We get lazy. I get lazy and I have to ask someone to take me because dad can’t drive and mom is at work during the day. I got my eyes checked up on about a month ago. My eyes haven’t changed too much enough for me to notice. This pair of glasses will have regular lenses like others have and my prisms. It turns out that I’m near sighted. As I get older, things are changing. My mom and sister are. My father is a combination, I believe. Either way, I’ve caught up to the rest of the family. I’m no longer left out completely from the world and can relate to others 🙂

Here is the latest version of Mickey: 

👍🏻