“From their review of over 170 studies, the researchers found that entitlement creates a vicious circle:
1 Entitlement creates feelings of disappointment.
2 Disappointment leads to anger and other strong negative emotions.
3 The negative emotions require the person to reassure themselves they are special.”
The article I’m quoting is by PsyBlog. It’s a short piece. Before continuing this, give it a read. It might have you thinking about yourself…being honest with yourself and trying to be a better person isn’t a bad thing. Give it a try 🙃
I don’t feel entitled. I don’t believe I am either. I’d guess that others wouldn’t say that about me but close family members might say ‘yeah. She might be.’ If you ask me that’s how I would respond with. Consciously, I’m not. Unconsciously, I might be. The things I say and do may not cry ‘entitled’ but underneath it all, that might be exactly what’s going on.
To respond to the three statements above:
- I do carry feelings of disappointment especially towards others around me.
- As a result, I do become angry towards said person. Strong negative emotions to the core.
- I always reassure myself that I am right and I am different therefore their reactions need to fit those differences.
So the question is: Do I think I’m entitled to certain things because of my accident?
Usually, when someone says on is ‘entitled’ they’re talking about material things that involve money. ‘I worked hard so I deserve…’ When you look at that, no I’m not entitled. What the article is talking about is more than that and I believe that’s what I’ve got going on with me lately.
‘I was in this accident; my world was turned upside down and everything is so different. I have to make all these changes without a choice.’ That’s the mindset I have going. If you’re a family member, it’s ‘if I have to change you have to’ and that usually follows with some statement about all this happening to me, I’m different. I deserve certain reactions and emotions from you. I can’t have you respond like a normal human being.
When I don’t get that, I get angry. I get angry because that’s not the reaction I deserve because of what happened to me. I believe this is a bit of a entitlement problem. It may not be clear or black and white but it’s there. Oh! At the end of these disagreements, I always start telling myself that I’m right and don’t deserve such reactions. The blame is shifted onto the other person without a thought. I can never be wrong because I was in an accident.
The hardest thing part of all this is admitting it to others or ‘out loud’ because admitting to yourself silently doesn’t mean change will happen. You then live in a state of denial and it’s easy to pretend you don’t do it. I’m writing about it. You’re reading this. I will put my tail between my legs and work on this. I will be kinder to others. I will remember that close friends and family are doing all they can. I’m not entitled to anything because of this. Everyone has gone above and beyond for me. I need to show more appreciation overall. I am humble but I’m humble to strangers and to those that aren’t around as often. I’m not humble when it comes to family. I have to work on this a bit harder because this doesn’t just involve me anymore; it involves everyone.
Oh and you’re not entitled to special treatment either. Is your name Mother Teresa? I didn’t think so. You know who else feels entitled? President Trump. But that’s for another time…
Hope you have a fabulous Sunday!
Public Service Announcement:
Don’t you dare look at the eclipse without proper glasses! I don’t need you to ruin your eye sight! Even for a second, don’t do it!
A Bahar explanation is this: the sky goes dark. Your retinas (the black part of your eye) gets big to see in the dark (that’s why owls have big eyes) and when the sun comes out within seconds, your eyes don’t have enough time to adjust. Your eyes in the back, that do all the work, burn. That’s why when the doctor puts those drops in your eyes to take a photo. Your internal structure of your eyes are out in the open and that’s also why you’re given some type of sun protection or asked to have someone else to drive you home.
Don’t be dumb. Don’t look at the sun. Just don’t. Sunglasses won’t work either.